Sunday, January 5, 2014

Get These Words Right

Here are some words that people often misuse, which drive me crazy:

SECULAR - "Secular" does NOT mean the same thing as "atheist."  "Secular" means non-denominational.  There are secular ministers.  There are secular chapels.  There are secular morals.  There are secular prayers.  If you don't believe in God, you are not secular.  You are an atheist.

ATHEIST - The majority of people use this word correctly, as in to mean "one who asserts the non-existence of God."  However, a number of people (typically atheists themselves) want to include agnostics and other non-typical believers in this category, stating that the definition is "one who does not believe in God," (sometimes further defining "God" as a Fundamentalist Christian interpretation, and "believe" as a regular act of formal worship).  The difference is nearly insignificant to the layperson, but to the pseudo-intellectuals, "does not believe" does not imply "believes the opposite as," and as such, states that an agnostic is an atheist for not believing.  However, using the former (correct) definition, an agnostic is not an atheist, for not having asserted anything.  In fairness, not believing one way or another IS a valid definition of "atheist" if obscure definitions (not included in most standard dictionaries) are included, but this does not justify the act of so-called "correcting" people who use the more common meaning.  Simply put, "atheist" does not include non-practicing theists, non-denominational theists, liberal theists, anti-theists or agnostics.

AGNOSTIC - There are two valid definitions to "agnostic."  The first is one who asserts the impossibility of knowing with any degree of certainty if God exists or not.  The second is one who maintains a neutral position on controversial matters, such as the existence or nonexistence of God.  All too often, however, the word is used to mean one who cannot prove the existence or nonexistence of God with absolute certainty.  Since this is probably impossible, everyone in the world would be "agnostic."  This is completely wrong.  A person who is confident one way or the other may not have proof, but is not agnostic, because a confident person has not asserted that knowing (to a high degree of certainty, albeit not absolute) is impossible, nor has this person assumed a neutral position.  Some apologists may break down the origin of the words "a - gnosis," meaning "non - knowing," but this is being selective and downright ridiculous.  No other words or phrases are defined according to their origins.  "Venom" is a derivation of the word "Venus," but no one corrects people who refer to a snake's "venom," because it is not a planet, nor a goddess.  Words should be interpreted by their contemporary definitions.  To put etymology ahead of this is taking the ancient root languages too literally.

LITERALLY - The whole purpose of having the word "literally" is to indicate that what is being said is meant to be taken as literal rather than figurative.  To use it WHEN being figurative defeats the whole purpose.  Some have gone so far as to say that "literally" can also mean "figuratively," but this is not only stupid, but incorrect.  If "literally" could mean "figuratively," and everything that is said is either figurative or literal, then EVERY statement could include "literally," which means it's pointless to say it.  Regardless, no one uses "literally" to mean "figuratively," even incorrectly.  People use "literally" as an intensifier, not unlike "totally" or "fucking."  The fact that some of the times that people say "literally," they are not being literal does not mean that "literally" is an attempt to communicate that they are not being literal.  For comparison, if I said "you fucking scared me to death," the word "fucking" does not convey that I'm speaking figuratively, but merely adds emotional emphasis.  These linguistic apologists attempting to redefine "literally" as some sort of a new contronym are being sophomoric at best.

SOPHOMORIC - When people want to sound intelligent, they will sometimes call something that is stupid or childish "sophomoric."  This is inaccurate.  "Sophomoric" doesn't mean stupid.  It more specifically means a failed attempt at intelligence.  When a movie relies heavy on fart jokes, it's not sophomoric.  It's juvenile, yes, but it is not attempting to be anything BUT juvenile.  A true example of something sophomoric would be the film critic who calls that movie "sophomoric."  I find that a bit ironic.

IRONIC - Many people use the word "ironic" as a synonym for "funny" or "unfortunate."  Neither is correct.  Irony is a direct opposition between the logical expectation and the actual outcome.  Some people may try to justify their use by saying that "ironic" means "not the expected result," and something funny or unfortunate is not expected.  However, this is an oversimplification.  In this case, "expected" does not mean expected by the individual, but rather expected based on a logical sequence.  For example, I may not expect to get into a car accident, but getting into one is not ironic, because my lack of expectation was not based on anything leading up to the accident (such as deliberately choosing a different route far out of my way, which is reputed to be safer).  All this being said, there are sophomoric individuals who believe that the definition of "irony" is "non-literal."  Verbal irony is only ONE form of irony.  If the logical expectation of the meaning of a statement based on a literal interpretation of the words used is in direct opposition to the message being communicated through the statement (e.g. saying the words  "good job" to communicate "bad job"), is verbal irony.  However, the word "irony" is just as often, if not more often, applied to situational or cosmic irony, which is also valid.  In the case of situational irony, an action produces an outcome that is contrary to, and often the direct opposite of the intended outcome (such as being drenched by water pouring out of an umbrella).  In the case of cosmic irony, a person may suffer a misfortune as a result of random events, which has the appearance of having been tailored to the individual (such as an astronomer being killed by a random meteor strike).

RANDOM - "Random" does not mean the same thing as "spontaneous," "unexpected," "miscellaneous," "disorganized," "illogical," "funny," "improvised," or "strange."  "Random" means "unpredictable due to not being controlled by anyone."  Weather is random.  Lottery numbers are random.  Road trips are NOT random, because the driver is in control of the course of the trip.  Unsorted photos are NOT random, because the photos were taken deliberately.  Statements are NOT random, because words are chosen by the speaker... even is the speaker doesn't know the correct definitions.  (Hopefully, this helps.)

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