Sunday, September 8, 2013

History in the Form of Song Lyrics

HISTORY IN THE FORM OF SONG LYRICS:

Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state.  Then nearly fourteen billion years ago, expansion started.  Wait.  (Barenaked Ladies)
I'm comin' out, so you better get this party started.  (Pink)
Cloudy.  My thoughts are scattered and they're cloudy.  They have no borders, no boundaries.  (Simon & Garfunkel)
Starry starry night, paint your palette blue and gray.  (Don McLean)
And superstars get sucked into the supermassive.  (Muse)
Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars.  It's a hundred thousand light years side to side.  It bulges in the middle sixteen thousand light years thick, but out by us, it's just three thousand light years wide.  (Eric Idle)
Someday you will find me caught beneath the landslide, in a champagne supernova in the sky.  (Oasis)
All we are is dust in the wind.  Everything is dust in the wind.  (Kansas)
Here comes the sun.  Here comes the sun, and I say it's all right.  (The Beatles)
Ooh, hot lava.  Ooh, hot lava.  (The B-52s)
I've seen a bad moon rising.  (Creedence Clearwater)
Here comes the rain again, falling on my head like a tragedy.  (Eurythmics)
I can see clearly now, the rain is gone.  (Johnny Nash)
I'm alive, and the world shines for me today.  I'm alive.  Suddenly, I am here today.  (Electric Light Orchestra)
I got bugs.  I got bugs in my room.  (Pearl Jam)
Fish heads, fish heads, rolly-polly fish heads.  Fish heads, fish heads.  Eat them up.  Yum.  (Barnes and Barnes)
She's got legs, and she knows how to use 'em.  (ZZ Top)
Open the door.  Get on the floor.  Everybody walk the dinosaur.  Open the door.  Get on the floor.  Everybody walk the dinosaur.  (Was Was Not)
It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.  (REM)
Ice, ice, baby.  Ice, ice baby.  (Vanilla Ice)
You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.  (The Bloodhound Gang)
Welcome to the jungle.  We got fun and games.  (Guns'N'Roses)
Hey, hey, we're the Monkees, and people say we monkey around.  (The Monkees)
So, stand in the place where you are.  (REM)
It's rainin' men.  Hallelujah, it's rainin' men.  (The Weather Girls)
Come on, baby, light my fire.  (The Doors)
If I had a hammer, I'd hammer in the morning.  (Peter Paul and Mary)
Flintstones.  Meet the Flintstones.  (Flintstones)
I'm a traveling man, who's made a lot of stops all over the world.  (Rick Nelson)
North to Alaska.  (Johnny Horton)
Old MacDonald had a farm, ee ie ee ie oh.  (Traditional)
What goes up must come down.  Spinnin' wheel got to go round.  (Blood, Sweat and Tears)
Stonehenge! Where the demons dwell, where the banshees live and they do live well.  Stonehenge!  Where a man's a man, and the children dance to the Pipes of Pan.  (Spinal Tap)
Walk like an Egyptian.  Walk like an Egyptian.  (The Bangles)
We're the Mesopotamians.  Sargon, Hammurabi, Ashurbanipal, and Gilgamesh.  (They Might Be Giants)
Born in Arizona, moved to Babylonia, King Tut.  (Steve Martin)
You came in through the door like a Trojan Horse.  You came onto the floor like a Trojan Horse.  (Luv)
I am iron man.  (Black Sabbath)
The Lord, by Moses, to Pharaoh, said, oh, let my people go.  If not, I'll smite your first-born dead.  Oh, let my people go.  (Traditional)
Waiting for a sign to turn blood into wine.  The sweet taste in your mouth turned bitter in its glass.  Israel.  In Israel.  Israel.  In Israel.  (Siouxsie and the Banshees)
Smile on, little Buddha, smile on.  (Toad the Wet Sprocket)
Near to the east, in a part of ancient Greece, in an ancient land called Macedonia, was born a son to Phillip of Macedon, the legend, his name was Alexander.  (Iron Maiden)
Caesar never got them back, 'cause they killed his ass in the second act.  Brutus spoke, then Anthony said, 'My girlfriend's cat is smarter than me.  Friends, Romans, can't you see?  My girlfriend's cat is smarter than me.'  (Spin Doctors)
Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ.  Who are you?  What have you sacrificed?  Jesus Christ.  Superstar.  Do you think you're what they say you are?  (Jesus Christ Superstar)
Sharia don't like it.  Rock the Casbah.  Rock the Casbah.  By order of the Prophet, we ban that boogie sound.  Degenerate the faithful with that crazy Casbah sound.  (The Clash)
Hell awaits behind Gaul's gates.  The Roman's stand only to fall.  They will die by his sword, the barbarian lord.  Attila hears victory call.  (Iced Earth)
Darkness imprisoning me.  All that I see, absolute horror.  (Metallica)
Myriad lights.  They said I'd be impressed.  Arabian nights, at your primitive best.  (Siouxsie and the Banshees)
I come from the land of the ice and snow, from the midnight sun, where the hot springs flow.  Hammer of the gods will drive our ships to new lands to fight the hoards that sing and cry 'Valhalla, I am coming.'  (Led Zeppelin)
Christian sons with hearts of anger bring the book, the cross, the chancre.  Hallelujah, hallelujah.  Kiss the cross or they will burn ya.  Hallelujah, hallelujah.  They have come to rape and murder.  (Inkubus Sukkubus)
The Inquisition.  What a show.  The Inquisition.  Here we go.  I know you're wishin' that we'd go away, but the Inquisition's here, and it's here to stay.  (Mel Brooks)
Lion- Lionheart, defender of the faith.  Lion- Lionheart, protector of the state.  Lionheart.  (Saxon)
Genghis Khan, he could not keep all his kings supplied with sleep.  (Bob Dylan)
A place where nobody dared to go, the love that we came to know.  They call it Xanadu.  (Olivia Newton-John)
The bell tolls.  The black plague has struck.  Diseased eyes roll upwards, as if knowing which direction their souls will travel.  (The Animals)
Take a look.  It's in a book.  A reading rainbow.  (Reading Rainbow Theme)
A whole new world.  A new fantastic point of view.  No one to tell us no, or where to go, or say we're only dreaming.  (Aladdin)
From the halls of Montezuma, to the shores of Tripoli.  (Marines)
I'm Henry the Eighth, I am.  Henry the Eight, I am, I am.  (Herman's Hermits)
Well, to be or not to be?  To be or not to be?  Am gonna have you for me?
I call on the resting soul of Galileo, king of night-vision, king of insight.  (Indigo Girls)
Living in America.  I live in America.  (James Brown)
We're not gonna take it.  No, we ain't gonna take it.  We're not gonna take it anymore.  (Twisted Sister)
We fired our guns and the British kept a'comin'.  There wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago.  We fired once more, and they begin to runnin' down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.  (Johnny Horton)
Fifteen men on a dead man's chest.  Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum.  (Traditional)
My, my, at Waterloo, Napoleon did surrender.  (Abba)
I don't need your civil war.  It feeds the rich while it buries the poor.  (Guns'N'Roses)
It's such a change for us to live so independently.  Freedom, you see, has got our hearts singing so joyfully.  Just look about.  You owe it to yourself to check it out.  Can't you feel a brand new day?  Can't you feel a brand new day?  (The Wiz)
I've been workin' on the railroad all the live-long day.  (Traditional)
Then from dawn till setting sun, he practiced with that deadly gun, and hour on hour I watched in awe.  No human being could match the draw of Ringo.  (Lorne Greene)
In the factories and mills, in the shipyards and mines, we've often been told to keep up with the times.  For our skills are not needed.  They've streamlined the job, and with sliderule and stopwatch our pride they have robbed.  (Dropkick Murphys)
We gonna rock down to electric avenue, and then we'll take you higher.  (Eddie Grant)
Here in my car, I feel safest of all.  I can lock all my doors.  It's the only way to live, in cars.  (Gary Numan)
I believe I can fly.  I believe I can touch the sky.  (R. Kelly)
Hooray for Hollywood!  That screwy ballyhooey Hollywood.  (Doris Day)
She blinded me with science.  She blinded me with science.  (Thomas Dolby)
War, huh, good god, y'all!  What is it good for?  Absolutely nothin'.  (Edwin Starr)
We've been spending most our lives living in a gangster's paradise.  (Coolio)
I ain't got no money, but I sure got a whole lotta love.  (Bob Seger)
It's springtime for Hitler and Germany.  Winter for Poland and France.  (Mel Brooks)
Atomic, oh atomic.  (Blondie)
Back in the US- back in the US- back in the USSR.  (The Beatles)
Living in the plastic age.  Plastic age.  (The Buggles)
Video killed the radio star.  Video killed the radio star.  (The Buggles)
Hemingway, Eichmann, Stranger in a Strange Land, Dylan, Berlin, Bay of Pigs invasion, Lawrence of Arabia, British Beatlemania, Ole Miss, John Glenn, Liston beats Patterson, Pope Paul, Malcolm X, British Politician sex, J.F.K. blown away, what else do I have to say!  (Billy Joel)
And it's one, two, three, what are we fightin' for?  Don't ask me.  I don't give a damn.  Next stop is Vietnam.  (Country Joe and the Fish)
By the time we got to Woodstock, we were half a million strong.  (Joni Mitchell)
Fly me to the moon, and let me play among the stars.  Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars.  (Frank Sinatra)
Don't turn around, uh-oh.  Der Kommissar's in town, uh-oh.  (After the Fire)
I want my... I want my... I want my MTV.  (Dire Straits)
Tear down the wall!  Tear down the wall!  (Pink Floyd)
What ya wanna do?  Wanna be hackers?  Code-crackers?  Slackers?  Wastin' time with all the chat room yackers?  Nine-to-five, chillin' at Hewlett-Packard?  (Weird Al Yankovic)
It's early fall.  There's a cloud in the New York skyline.  Innocence dragged across a yellow line.  (U2)
Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.  Now, it looks as though they're here to stay.  Oh, I believe in yesterday.  (The Beatles)
Right now, hey, it's your tomorrow.  Right now, come on, it's everything.  Right now, catch a magic moment, do it, right here and now.  (Van Halen)
Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow.  You're only a day away.  (Annie)
Things are goin' great, and it's only gettin' better.  I'm doin' all right, and gettin' good grades.  The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades.  I gotta wear shades.  (Timbuk 3)
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.  Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.  (Styx)
Star Trekkin' across the universe, on the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk.  (The Firm)
We're hoppin' star to star through the galaxy.  We're flyin' high.  Let the world pass us by from here to eternity.  To eternity.  (Brian Setzer Orchestra)
Black hole sun, won't you come and wash away the rain.  Black hole sun, black hole sun, won't you come.  (Soundgarden)
This is the end, my only friend, the end.  (The Doors)
Let's do the time warp again!  (Richard O'Brien)
You go back, Jack, do it again.  Wheel's goin' round and round.  You go back, Jack, do it again.  (Steely Dan)
And it all started with a big bang.  (Barenaked Ladies)

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Pantheon of American Gods

Here's a try at a pantheon of American "gods" based on historic or public figures who completely embody some vital force in the public consciousness.  In order to qualify, each "god" must be immediately identifiable with the concept he embodies, to the point where the mention of his name can be used as a metaphor for that particular vital force.  The historic or public figure must have a quality (at least as perceived by the zeitgeist) which transcends mortal stature.  Also, in order to be a truly "American" pantheon, each must be either American or have significantly affected American history.


FATHER OF THE GODS................................................GEORGE WASHINGTON
MONSTER AT THE BEGINNING OF TIME...................KING GEORGE III
MOTHER / HOME / HEARTH GODDESS......................ELEANOR ROOSEVELT
GOD OF WISDOM..........................................................ALBERT EINSTEIN
GOD OF MISCHIEF........................................................ANDY KAUFMAN
GOD OF WAR.................................................................GEORGE PATTON
GODDESS OF LOVE AND BEAUTY.............................MARYLIN MONROE
GOD OF PEACE..............................................................MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.
GOD OF AGRICULTURE................................................JOHNNY APPLESEED
GOD OF WILD BEASTS................................................TEDDY ROOSEVELT
GOD OF WEALTH.........................................................JOHN D. ROCKEFELLER
GOD OF JUSTICE AND VENGANCE...........................WYATT EARP
GOD OF THUNDER AND LIGHTNING........................BEN FRANKLIN
GOD OF CHILDREN AND DREAMS............................WALT DISNEY
GOD OF MOCKERY......................................................LENNY BRUCE
GODDESS OF DISEASE...............................................TYPHOID MARY
GOD OF DEATH............................................................JACK KEVORKIAN
MUSE OF COMEDY.......................................................MARK TWAIN
MUSE OF TRAGEDY.....................................................EDGAR ALLEN POE
MUSE OF DANCE..........................................................MICHAEL JACKSON
MESSENGER OF THE GODS.......................................WALTER KRONKITE
DEMIGOD WARRIOR....................................................CHUCK NORRIS
DEVIL.............................................................................ADOLF HITLER

I consider this a "starter" set.  I may think of more.

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Is There A God?

Is there a God (or gods)?  I have heard so many arguments from both sides, and most of the arguments I've heard attempting to either "prove" or "disprove" god(s) have just been stupid and oversimplified.  So, to answer ALL of them at once, I made a five-and-a-half-hour-long video series discussing them.  You can watch the entire series:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4DHxqV6_Ok&list=PLRc3e3NwfnHnR-ZceMrlAGoIWVWdWN6w3

Or, you can just skip to a specific argument you want to hear discussed:

ARGUMENTS FOR THE EXISTENCE OF GOD:

The brain cannot produce absolute truth without God:
   http://youtu.be/l4DHxqV6_Ok?t=15m16s

Gödel's Ontological Proof of God:
   http://youtu.be/l4DHxqV6_Ok?t=18m49s

The Higgs-Boson proves the existence of God:
   http://youtu.be/l4DHxqV6_Ok?t=25m16s

The teachings of the Bible:
   http://youtu.be/l4DHxqV6_Ok?t=31m14s

Where do we go when we die?:
   http://youtu.be/l4DHxqV6_Ok?t=43m27s

Faith-based charities (referenced):
   http://youtu.be/l4DHxqV6_Ok?t=51m18s

God must exist to form an argument against him:
   http://youtu.be/l4DHxqV6_Ok?t=53m43s

Signs of the End Times are in the news today:
   http://youtu.be/9HDhJ14RHDk?t=33s

Atheists suffer more than believers do:
   http://youtu.be/6kCt6LNZg54?t=4m54s

God has helped people through difficult times:
   http://youtu.be/6kCt6LNZg54?t=4m54s

Near death experiences / out-of-body experiences:
   http://youtu.be/6kCt6LNZg54?t=6m39s

Atheism is a type of faith:
   http://youtu.be/6kCt6LNZg54?t=13m54s

Without God, there can be no morality:
   http://youtu.be/6kCt6LNZg54?t=33m20s

Visions, signs and miracles:
   http://youtu.be/6kCt6LNZg54?t=41m24s

Ghost sightings:
   http://youtu.be/6kCt6LNZg54?t=45m17s

A spiritual awaking is coming:
   http://youtu.be/MqDKA4Cu8tU?t=1m7s

DNA shows intelligent design:
   http://youtu.be/MqDKA4Cu8tU?t=2m40s

There must have been a first cause:
   http://youtu.be/MqDKA4Cu8tU?t=12m7s

Evil is the absence of the goodness of God:
   http://youtu.be/MqDKA4Cu8tU?t=13m42s

Sun goes up, sun goes down, tide comes in, tide goes out:
   http://youtu.be/MqDKA4Cu8tU?t=18m33s

Messages from the spirit world received by mediums:
   http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=40s

Evolution is an illogical theory:
   http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=12m51s
      How do we know the appendix does nothing?
         http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=16m27s
      How did the Cambrian explosion happen?
         http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=17m22s
      Evolution is only a theory, so why can't another theory be right?
         http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=19m6s
      Where did the first amoeba come from?
         http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=20m29s
      We didn't come from monkeys.  We're not just animals.
         http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=21m55s
      Evolution is only based on similarity in life forms.
         http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=24m33s
      No one has ever seen evolution from one species into another.
         http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=26m25s
      Evolution goes against the second law of thermodynamics.
         http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=27m34s
      How can anyone explain the skeletons of giants?
         http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=27m34s
      Charles Darwin even admitted that he had been wrong.
         http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=29m48s
      If we came from apes, then why are apes still around?
         http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=31m29s
      No one has ever seen a "missing link."
         http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=31m29s
      Why are there so few so-called transitional fossils?
         http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=35m47s
      Why haven't the oldest life formed changed?
         http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=37m26s
      Where do extra chromosomes come from?
         http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=39m6s
      Bananas!
         http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=40m26s
      If even one gene is removed or changed, we would die instantly.
         http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=42m8s
      Which came first?  Heart to pump blood, or the blood without a heart?
         http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=43m28s
      The eye is too complex to have happened all at once.
         http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=46m32s
      Why assume there is no God before starting to figure out evolution?
         http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=48m29s
      Why are modern lizards less complex than dinosaurs?
         http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=49m59s
      Fruit fly experiments have failed to produce a new species.
         http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=51m39s
      Where do asteroids come from?
         http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=52m44s
      Human and dinosaur bones have been found in the same rock strata.
         http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=53m42s
      The Piltdown Man was a fake.
         http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=57m48s
      "Evil-lution."
         http://youtu.be/l0-FC9X4QTE?t=36s

Saying that God does not exist is a reification fallacy:
   http://youtu.be/5POLBnM_cLI?t=42s

People only become atheists because they're afraid of the truth:
   http://youtu.be/5POLBnM_cLI?t=3m12s

I just have a "feeling" that there's a God:
   http://youtu.be/5POLBnM_cLI?t=4m48s

If there are a finite number of things, there must be a greatest:
   http://youtu.be/5POLBnM_cLI?t=5m28s

People see angels:
   http://youtu.be/5POLBnM_cLI?t=10m2s

Pascal's Wager:
   http://youtu.be/5POLBnM_cLI?t=16m6s

Liar, Lunatic, Lord:
   http://youtu.be/5POLBnM_cLI?t=19m23s

Quantum mechanics prove God:
   http://youtu.be/5POLBnM_cLI?t=24m41s

Demonic possessions and exorcisms:
   http://youtu.be/5POLBnM_cLI?t=45m32s

Noah's Ark was discovered:
   http://youtu.be/5POLBnM_cLI?t=46m59s

Science has never proven that God does not exist:
   http://youtu.be/5POLBnM_cLI?t=51m56s

The conditions for life on Earth are too perfect to have occurred by chance:
   http://youtu.be/5POLBnM_cLI?t=54m11s

Who wrote the Bible?
   http://youtu.be/l0-FC9X4QTE?t=49s

The Koran predicted that the universe was expanding:
   http://youtu.be/l0-FC9X4QTE?t=1m19s

The beauty of nature:
   http://youtu.be/l0-FC9X4QTE?t=5m1s

USA is a Christian nation founded on Christian principles:
   http://youtu.be/l0-FC9X4QTE?t=11m56s

Universal constants:
   http://youtu.be/l0-FC9X4QTE?t=18m46s




ARGUMENTS AGAINST THE EXISTENCE OF GOD:

Religion created God to control people through fear:
   http://youtu.be/l4DHxqV6_Ok?t=17m19s

Miracles can be explained scientifically:
   http://youtu.be/l4DHxqV6_Ok?t=21m13s

The Higgs-Boson proves that the universe was created without God:
   http://youtu.be/l4DHxqV6_Ok?t=25m16s

God cannot exist in a vacuum:
   http://youtu.be/l4DHxqV6_Ok?t=27m10s

God could not predict holy wars:
   http://youtu.be/l4DHxqV6_Ok?t=29m2s

The universe began with the Big Bang:
   http://youtu.be/l4DHxqV6_Ok?t=32m30s

No one was around to create God:
   http://youtu.be/l4DHxqV6_Ok?t=37m31s

Prayers go unanswered:
   http://youtu.be/l4DHxqV6_Ok?t=39m28s

Atheists don't preach or try to convert people:
   http://youtu.be/l4DHxqV6_Ok?t=41m5s

Religion causes violence:
   http://youtu.be/l4DHxqV6_Ok?t=46m45s

Why hasn't God proven himself?:
   http://youtu.be/9HDhJ14RHDk?t=4m33s

Bad things happen in nature (e.g. parasitic wasps):
   http://youtu.be/9HDhJ14RHDk?t=9m53s

Everything that exists must be either matter or energy:
   http://youtu.be/9HDhJ14RHDk?t=12m12s

An infinite God is impossible, and a finite god cannot be examined:
   http://youtu.be/9HDhJ14RHDk?t=14m37s

Ancient "gods" were probably just visiting aliens:
   http://youtu.be/9HDhJ14RHDk?t=16m59s

Believing in God is just stupid:
   http://youtu.be/9HDhJ14RHDk?t=21m19s

God must know evil to be perfect:
   http://youtu.be/9HDhJ14RHDk?t=22m25s

An all-knowing being would take away free will:
   http://youtu.be/6kCt6LNZg54?t=39s

The Gospels weren't written until long after Jesus died:
   http://youtu.be/6kCt6LNZg54?t=11m3s

The supernatural can be easily faked:
   http://youtu.be/6kCt6LNZg54?t=17m34s

God doesn't do huge miracles anymore:
   http://youtu.be/6kCt6LNZg54?t=19m43s

The Bible is full of mistakes:
   http://youtu.be/6kCt6LNZg54?t=22m45s and http://youtu.be/l0-FC9X4QTE?t=20m34s

There is evil in the world:
   http://youtu.be/6kCt6LNZg54?t=27m43s

The human body is badly designed:
   http://youtu.be/6kCt6LNZg54?t=31m2s

Flying Spaghetti Monster (aka. Invisible Pink Unicorn or Russell's Teapot):
   http://youtu.be/6kCt6LNZg54?t=38m41s

Could God create a rock so heavy that he can't lift it? // Why can't God control hell or the devil?
   http://youtu.be/MqDKA4Cu8tU?t=4m21s

Omniscience contradicts consciousness (referenced):
   http://youtu.be/MqDKA4Cu8tU?t=6m18s

Religion leads to bad political decisions (i.e. Republicans and other social conservatives):
   http://youtu.be/MqDKA4Cu8tU?t=7m4s

Religion is bad for education:
   http://youtu.be/MqDKA4Cu8tU?t=9m19s

Logical fallacies (e.g. "appeal to authority," "appeal to the masses," etc.):
   http://youtu.be/MqDKA4Cu8tU?t=16m44s

Evolution:
   http://youtu.be/MqDKA4Cu8tU?t=21m50s

God is not defined:
   http://youtu.be/MqDKA4Cu8tU?t=29m7s

Atheists don't say there ISN'T a god, and everyone is agnostic:
   http://youtu.be/MqDKA4Cu8tU?t=34m1s

Religions cannot agree on anything:
   http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=2m38s

The burden of proof is on the person making the positive claim, and great claims require great proof:
   http://youtu.be/egM2tzpKe_s?t=4m20s

There are no archeological remnants of the Hebrews wandering in the desert:
   http://youtu.be/5POLBnM_cLI?t=7m38s

Morality changes over time:
   http://youtu.be/5POLBnM_cLI?t=11m35s

Religion teaches hatred:
   http://youtu.be/5POLBnM_cLI?t=13m5s

No one believes in the Pagan gods anymore:
   http://youtu.be/5POLBnM_cLI?t=26m19s

A perfect being cannot have free will:
   http://youtu.be/5POLBnM_cLI?t=30m40s

Jesus's miracles look like magicians tricks:
   http://youtu.be/5POLBnM_cLI?t=31m44s

Documentary:  "Jesus, The Man Who Wasn't There"
   http://youtu.be/5POLBnM_cLI?t=34m35s

Magic, miracles, ESP and other paranormal or supernatural phenomena are not repeatable:
   http://youtu.be/5POLBnM_cLI?t=40m28s

Occam's Razor:  The simplest explanation is usually the correct one:
   http://youtu.be/5POLBnM_cLI?t=49m36s

Science has never proven that there is a god:
   http://youtu.be/5POLBnM_cLI?t=51m56s

Religion is male-dominated:
   http://youtu.be/l0-FC9X4QTE?t=2m36s

The Rapture didn't happen when it was supposed to:
   http://youtu.be/l0-FC9X4QTE?t=5m22s

Cre-tard-ism:
   http://youtu.be/l0-FC9X4QTE?t=7m49s

Why don't psychics win the lottery?:
   http://youtu.be/l0-FC9X4QTE?t=8m6s

Brain damage causes memory loss and changes in behavior:
   http://youtu.be/l0-FC9X4QTE?t=9m26s

USA is a secular nation.  / Separation of church and state:
   http://youtu.be/l0-FC9X4QTE?t=11m56s

Christianity caused the Dark Ages:
   http://youtu.be/l0-FC9X4QTE?t=16m18s



CLOSING THOUGHTS:
http://youtu.be/l0-FC9X4QTE?t=23m39s

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Did You Ever Notice On Star Trek...

Did you ever notice on Star Trek:

* The universal translator, which instantly makes every language sound like English, has no effect on French or Klingon?

* On the original series, when the transporter would malfunction, it never occurred to anyone to just use the shuttlecraft?

* In every crowd scene in the movies, there is EXACTLY ONE blue person?

* Data only stops using contractions when talking about how he's incapable of using contractions?

* Even though the holodeck can create clothing, the crew feels the need to change into costume before entering?

* No one outside the series "Enterprise" ever mentions the first Enterprise?

* Almost all of the dialog on Voyager is just saying the names of different subatomic particles?

* Not only do the red-shirts die right away, but they don't even look all that surprised?

* Even though Vulcans are super technologically advanced and purely logical and scientific, the only places we ever visit are rocky canyons and mystic temples where everyone looks pissed off?

* Even though the Borg have a huge fleet of ships that could cross the galaxy in seconds, they always only send one ship at a time, and if it's destroyed, they just give up for a few years?

* No one ever brings up the Prime Directive unless it's terribly inconvenient, and will probably be ignored anyway?

* Even though money is used all the time in the future, everyone still feels the need to point out how they don't use money in the future?

* Starfleet history classes don't teach anything about the late 20th or early 21st centuries?

* No matter how many times the crew members are promoted, they always sit in the same positions doing the same jobs?

* The events from "Star Trek: The Motion Picture" might as well have never happened?

* Even though everyone knows how to travel back in time by slingshotting around the sun, people hardly use it?

* All the ships sent from Earth are called "Federation" ships, but all the ships sent from Vulcan are called "Vulcan" ships?

* The date of the Eugenics War keeps getting pushed further into the future?

* Nine out of ten times that an Enterprise gets blown up, there's a time warp in effect which will prevent it from having happened?

* Everyone in Starfleet who ISN'T a member of the Enterprise bridge crew is completely incompetent?

* The Enterprise is the only ship in the area... EVEN WHEN IT'S IN ORBIT AROUND EARTH!

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Greatest Monsters of All Time

People have often debated which are the greatest movie monsters or villains of all time.  Rather than just put together some lame top ten list that's sure to piss everyone off because it's not the top ten list YOU would have made, I decided to make a definitive collection, arrange them by category, and let you decide for yourself which ones are your favorites.

To avoid having a mile-long list of monsters, I established two general rules:

Rule #1:  The monster must be well-known, thus demonstrating having penetrated the general public consciousness.  (Nothing from some one-time movie that only a few people remember.)
Rule #2:  The monster must be an individual, not a general category.  (For example, "zombies" is not a specific individual monster.)

I've broken them down into five basic categories.  Enjoy.

CLASSICAL MONSTERS:

* BOGEY MAN - Throughout the Middle Ages, there were legends of "bogey beasts," or mysterious monsters which lived in bogs and attempted to frighten away trespassers.  By the modern era, these beasts became blended into a single monster called "the Bogey Man," and has become part of what I call the "children's pantheon" along with Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.  The Bogey Man loves to frighten children, playing off their existing fears.  His appearance is varied, but is it often depicted with distorted skin, sharp teeth, glowing eyes, and a soft whispering voice.  He often hides in closets and under beds.  His weaknesses are bright lights, loud noises and security blankets.

* GRENDEL - A monster which terrorized the Hall of Rothgar before being killed by Beowulf.
Associates:  His mother.

* GRIM REAPER - Also known as Charon or simply "Death."  He originally ferried souls across the River Styx (or Acheron, depending on your source), but somewhere along the line, he took over the role of the incarnation of death from his brother, Thanatos.  He is a skeleton wearing a black hooded robe, and according the Book of Revelation, carries a scythe.  He does not consider himself evil, but simply doing his job.

* HYDRA - From Greek mythology, the Hydra is probably the most famous of multi-headed dragons.  It is the offspring of Typhon and Echidna, and it has the power to regenerate lost heads (and then some).  It was eventually killed by Heracles.

* JERSEY DEVIL - At about the late end of the "classic" monsters, the Jersey Devil is a folk legend from the New England area.  According to the legend, he was born sometime before the American Revolution to a woman who was cursed in some way, and immediately flew out on his own to terrorize people.  He has horns, wings and hooves.

* MEDUSA - Specifically from Greek mythology, Medusa was one of three immortal sisters known as the gorgons.  Medusa was a lover of Poseidon, but cursed by Athena with snakes growing from her head, and eyes which could turn any living thing into stone.  Despite her most famous story of being killed by Perseus, she has since reappeared in several modern stories.

* MINOTAUR - Another from Greek mythology, this huge man with the head and hooves of a bull carries an axe and kills any who enter the labyrinth beneath the island of Crete.  He was born the offspring of a magic bull and a Minoan princess.  He was killed by Thesius, but like so many monsters, has returned to appear in other stories.

* SATAN - The ultimate bad guy, Satan (also known as Lucifer, Beelzebub, Mephistopheles, the Devil, etc.) was once an angel, but betrayed God, becoming the ruler of Hell.  Many of his early attributes are based on the Canaanite story of Baal, but by the Middle Ages, the legend of Faust cemented into the modern culture, the image of a distinguished gentleman, who offers contracts to buy human souls in exchange for granting wishes.  These wishes usually backfire in some way.
Associates:  All known demons.

* SPHINX - A monster with the body of a lion, the face of a woman, and the wings of a falcon.  The Sphinx terrorized the people of Thebes, Egypt, before finally being defeated by Oedipus.  Before killing (and eating) its victims, the Sphinx would offer a sporting chance of survival in the form of asking riddles.


GOLDEN AGE OF HORROR 1920s-1950s:

* CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON - Often called the "last of the Universal monsters," the creature, also called "Gill-Man," is a fish-like humanoid which kills anyone who threatens his natural habitat.

* DRACULA - Based on the novel and stage play by Bram Stoker (and even more loosely based on Prince Vlad the Impailer of Transylvania), Count Dracula is the world's most powerful vampire (and in some versions, the first vampire).  In addition to all the other vampire powers, he can shapeshift into a wolf, a bat or a cloud of mist, is one of the few vampires capable of surviving in sunlight, and can dominate any creature of the night, including most werewolves and zombies.  Dracula was defeated in 19th-century England by Professor Abraham Van Helsing.
Associates:  Three wives.  Alucard (his son).  Maria Zeleska (his daughter).  Renfield (his insect-eating servant).

* FLY - Dr. Andre DeLambre, working on a way to teleport himself, accidentally merged his own body with the head of a fly.

* FRANKENSTEIN - Based on the novel by Mary Wollstonecraft Shelly, Dr. Victor Frankenstein is the quintessential mad scientist.  He creates monsters from sewn-together body parts and electricity.  His monsters tend to be violent and slow-witted.
Associates:  The Monster (his first creation, who has greenish skin and bolts in his neck).  Ygor (his conniving hunch-backed assistant).  The Bride (his second creation, who has upright streaked hair, and was created as a companion for the first Monster).

* GOLEM OF PRAGUE - A man made of living stone, the Golem was created by a Rabbi using the mystical power of the Kabbalah.  He reigns vengeance upon anyone who threatens the Jewish people.

* HEADLESS HORSEMAN - Based on an American folk legend, and popularized by Washington Irving, the Headless Horseman rides through the night around the town of Sleepy Hollow.  He is undead after having been beheaded, and often threatens his victims by throwing jack-o-lanterns at them.  His weakness is that he cannot cross over running water.  He most famously terrorized Ichabod Crane in the 18th century.

* INVISIBLE MAN - Based on the story by H.G. Wells, Dr. Jack Griffin experimented on himself to make himself invisible, with the side-effect of causing him to become sociopathic.

* JEKYLL / HYDE - Based on the story by Robert Lewis Stephenson, Dr. Henry Jekyll is a split personality.  After experimenting on himself, he takes on an evil and monstrous alter-ego known as Edward Hyde.  In some versions of the story, he drinks or injects the drug for each transformation, while in other versions, the transformations are spontaneous.

* MUMMY (IMHOTEP) - After attempting to resurrect an Egyptian queen, Imhotep (named after the famous Egyptian architect who designed the pyramids), was killed, mummified, and later brought back to life by his own spell read by a team of 20th-century archeologists.

* MUMMY (KHARIS) - An equally popular mummy, Kharis is kept alive by the magic of tana leaves, and used by an Egyptian cult to protect the treasures of Egypt.

* PHANTOM OF THE OPERA - Based on the novel by Gaston LaRue, the Phantom (also known as Erik, or the Opera Ghost) was a deformed and abused child who grew up in the secret tunnels beneath a Paris opera house.  He wears a white mask to hide his face.  He is the quintessential tortured artist, obsessed with creating musical masterpieces, and killing anyone who stand in the way of his art.
Associates:  The rat-catcher.

* WOLFMAN - Unlike other werewolves, Lawrence Talbot III can be brought back from the dead, even if killed by silver.  He is also the only known werewolf who cannot be forced to submit to the will of Dracula.


SILVER AGE OF HORROR 1970s-1990s:

* AUDREY II - An oversized talking plant that eats humans.

* CANDYMAN - An undead serial killer who can be summoned through mirrors.

* CHUCKY - Charles Lee Ray, after being killed, used a voodoo spell to transfer his soul into the body of a talking doll.
Associates:  Tiffany (his doll girlfriend).  Glen (his doll son).

* DAMIEN - The son of Satan.  He can manipulate people into murder or suicide.

* GHOSTFACE - Serial killer with a long white mask.  He is inspired by other horror movies.

* FREDDY KRUEGER - Once a serial killer of children, using a glove with metal claws, Freddy was killed and burned by the parents of the murdered children.  Now undead, Freddy has the power to kill people by integrating himself into their nightmares.

* LEATHERFACE - The most prominent member of a family of killers in Texas.  Leatherface carries a chainsaw and wears a mask made from the skin of his previous victims.

* LEPRECHAUN - A not-so-cute leprechaun who will kill anyone who stands between him and his pot of gold.

* MICHAEL MYERS - A natural-born serial killer who wears a white mask.  He is associated with the Cult of the Thorn.  He is often silent.

* PINHEAD - Not his actual name, but a common nickname.  He is the leader of the Cenobites, demons which inflict pain for pleasure.  He has white skin, a leather coat, and several nails in his head.

* JASON VORHEEZ - After drowning at Crystal Lake as a child, Jason became an undead immortal.  He kills everyone, but his favorite victims are sexually-active teenagers.  He wears a hockey mask and carries a machete.
Associates:  Pamela (his mother, who was beheaded).

* WISHMASTER - The quintessential evil genie, who grants wishes which inevitably backfire.  When not granting wishes, he is trapped inside a magic gem.


GIANT MONSTERS:

* BLOB - An extraterrestrial amorphous mass which grows by consuming everything in its path.

* CTHULHU - A gigantic winged creature with an octopus-like head.  He is a force of destruction summoned into this world by cults.

* GAMERA - A giant flying turtle, capable of travelling through space.  He fights off other monsters, and is very protective of children.

* GODZILLA - A preserved dinosaur who was resurrected and mutated by nuclear bomb testing somewhere off the coast of Japan.  He is much larger than an ordinary dinosaur, often crushing all things in his path.  He lives on Monster Island, fighting off other giant monsters.  His most powerful weapon is atomic breath.
Associates:  Menia (his son).  King Ghidorah (his arch-nemesis, a gold three-headed dragon).

* KING KONG - The "Eighth Wonder of the World," King Kong is a giant gorilla from Skull Island, who used to received human sacrifices from the tribesmen, but later travelled to New York City.  He was killed, but has inexplicably appeared in other movies since.

* KRAKEN - The word "kraken" originally applied to a giant squid popular in medieval folklore, and the sea monster which destroyed the city of Argos in Greek mythology was never given a name or a description.  However, to modern moviegoers, the two creatures are one and the same.  It is a giant multi-limbed creature which serves the will of Zeus.

* MOTHRA - A giant moth worshipped by a tribe on a South Pacific island.  They summon Mothra by singing.  Mothra can create incredible windstorms by flapping her wings, or shoot jets of web.


HUMAN KILLERS (Serial killers without supernatural powers or a cool costume):
(Note:  Because of the incredibly long list of real-life serial killers, I'm once again sticking with recurring movie characters.)

* NORMAN BATES - (SPOILER ALERT!)  The owner of the Bates Motel, Norman went insane after killing his mother, and has since become a multiple personality, with the other personality being a homicidal version of his late mother.

* HANIBAL LECTER - A deranged psychiatrist and cannibal.  He delights in taunting his adversaries.

* JACK THE RIPPER - Originally a nickname for an unidentified real-life serial killer from 18th-century London, Jack the Ripper has become a popular recurring character throughout science fiction and horror.  The specifics vary widely from one production to the next.

* SWEENY TODD - A homicidal barber who kills his customers.  Originally just a legendary figure who robbed his victims, but in later versions, an alias for Benjamin Barker, who sought revenge on his enemies, but got carried away killing everyone else.
Associates:  Mrs. Lovett (his accomplice, who disposed of the victims' bodies by baking them into pies).

Friday, January 4, 2013

Five Most Annoying Things About Atheists

TOP FIVE MOST ANNOYING THINGS ABOUT ATHEISTS:

#5 - TOO ARGUMENTIVE:  Acting as if every personal statement is a scientific proposal which requires a body of evidence to back it up.  If you tell me that you had a ham sandwich today, I don't ask to see proof.  Yet for some reason, whenever someone says the believe in something supernatural, even if it's just making conversation, the atheists expect the person making the claim to have provided some irrefutable scientific evidence, otherwise, the claim should not have been made.  I could understand if someone entered into a philosophical debate arguing for the existence of a god, but 99% of the time, a person who mentions belief in a god isn't trying to make any type of logical argument, any more than if they'd said "looks like rain," "she's very pretty," "chocolate is my favorite," "I'm going fishing tomorrow," or "I love you."  Not every person who makes a statement expects to be cross-examined.

#4 - SELF-IMPORTANT:  Taking credit for scientific achievements.  If you are a scientist, and have studied the mathematics of cosmology, are an expert in particle physics, have taken measurements in cosmic background radiation, have personally dug up and radio-carbon-dated fossils, made in-depth anthropological studies and cross-referenced the human genome, etc., then you are a more intelligent person than I am, and you deserve credit for your high level of knowledge.  If you just blindly accept the findings of other, more knowledgeable people, then that's all well and good, but do NOT expect me to give you any credit for being "smart enough" to figure out the big bang or evolution that the "dumb" creationists can't figure out!  The fact is, you probably wouldn't have figured out that the earth was round if somebody hadn't explained it to you.  Another thing along the same category, is that very often I'll point out some logical fallacy put out by a fairly uneducated atheist, and some other, more educated atheist will interpret this a criticism of ALL atheists, including the highly intelligent ones.  It's not.  The fact that SOME atheists are really smart, doesn't alter the fact that SOME OTHERS of them are really fucking stupid.

#3 - THE BLAME GAME:  Blaming religion for everything.  Every atheist I've ever met has a mile-long laundry list of evil things that have happened in the world in the name of some religion.  Of course, as soon as someone asks what about the good things done in the name of religion, the default counterpoint is always, "people who do good in the name of religion would have done just as much good without religion."  I agree.  So then why is it so unthinkable that all of the EVIL things done in the name of religion would have been exactly the same without religion?  Also, they seem to conveniently forget that most of the world's most brutal communist dictators were also atheist.  Apparently, every evil atheist is the "exception" to the rule of atheists being good, but every good religious person is the "exception" to the rule of religious people being evil.  The double-standard just makes it way too easy.

#2 - DOUCHEBAGS:  Being incredibly rude.  It's part of our cultural mythology that religious people are always "pushing" their religion on everyone else, and non-religious people never do this.  Of course, this is only a myth.  In fact, only once in my life did someone try to convince me that there was a god, and both times, only briefly and very politely.  This is INCLUDING three occurrences of a Jehovah's Witness stopping by my door for a minute or two, being very polite, and not really trying to "convert" me so much as make themselves available should I require them, AND many years of going to a Catholic school, in which religious instruction seemed to be based around "we believe," as opposed to "you should believe."  However, in the case of people trying to convince me that there is NOT a god, I honestly cannot count the number of times that some atheist has shifted the conversation toward the nonexistence of gods, gone onto a lengthy rhetoric explaining why there is not a god, and being generally dickish toward anyone who disagrees, whether the disagreeing party is present or not.

#1 - FALSE DICHOTOMY:  Assuming that Fundamentalist Christianity is the only religion in existence.  I have heard the nonexistence of "god" argued a thousand different ways, all based on a literal interpretation of Christian scripture.  Hindu, Pagan, Buddhist, Shinto or Aboriginal gods are just dismissed as if they were never being seriously considered by anyone in the first place.  Furthermore, the majority of Christians who take the Bible metaphorically, are often regarded as some sort of fence-sitting fringe group, while the minority who take every word literally (and are, by the way, a very recent cultural development in comparison with the non-literalists) are looked at as if they were the default setting for all religions.  To talk to these people, you would think that everyone was raised to believe every word of the Christian Bible literally, and we've now divided into those who have grown out of this nonsense (throwing out ALL of religion, as opposed to just the parts that didn't work), and those who have not (i.e. the willfully ignorant).

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Christmas Poem


A CHRISTMAS POEM

By Shawn Ravenfire

 
Twas the week before Christmas, and within all our borders
Everyone’s house looked like an episode of hoarders.
 
Boxes upon boxes of decorations of the season,
Ugly and worn, but kept for sentimental reasons.
 
The town park is filled with lights red and green,
While Atheists bitch and moan about the nativity scene.
 
The sun shone down on the slushy gray snows,
While hipsters put up their aluminum Festivus poles.
 
People drunk at a party, where the spirit is felt,
And the office comedian hangs mistletoe from his belt.
 
Some disaffected teens avoid having fun,
And all prepare for the coming bad Boxing Day puns.
 
The Hanukkah lights are quite non-traditional,
And holiday stress is just plain unbearable.
 
The local TV station thinks they’re so cool,
Because they said Happy Kwanzaa, but forgot about Yule.
 
The Wiccans all ready to celebrate the solstice,
Can’t find a ritual, so it goes by unnoticed.
 
The cast of Fox News say Christmas is for brats,
Because Jesus is missing.  They blame Democrats.
 
“Save money,” say the experts, “the recession is growing.”
They forget that spending money is what keeps the economy going.
 
The news reports say there’s an increase in crime.
Change the channel, and watch “A Christmas Story,” for the one millionth time.
 
Everywhere, people fly home for December,
To make small talk with cousins they barely remember.
 
The family gathers around, and wonders at the mistake
It was to think anyone would like a fruitcake.
 
Opening presents is always a treat.
You’re especially thankful they kept the receipt.
 
A debate breaks out over which actor to choose
As the best ever portrayer of Ebineezer Scrooge.
 
Folks plan their New Year’s resolutions to make,
That after barely a week, they’re all sure to break.
 
But the worst tradition of all, that makes us so unhappy
Is that every radio station plays music that’s crappy.
 
Like bad twelve-days of Christmas parody songs,
Using ethnic stereotypes that are just plain wrong.
 
Children’s songs sung by adults trying to sound serious,
And Christian hymns so slow and dull, it just makes you furious.
 
Songs you think you know, but only the first verses,
Songs that are so repetitive, they make you say curses,
 
And the most depressing song that is sure to give the blues,
Is that horrible, god-awful song Christmas Shoes.
 
The Christmas season lasts longer each year without fail,
From the day after Halloween to Christmas in July sales.
 
It’s a pain in the ass, but on that special day,
Despite all its faults, we have a good time anyway.

So I say “Happy Holidays” to one and all,
And if you don’t like it, there’s always alcohol.