Sunday, February 26, 2017

Trying to Write a Dick Joke

When you're doing stand-up comedy, it's always a good idea to have a selection of both high-brow and low-brow humor, so that you can adapt to different crowds.  Recently, it occurred to me that I didn't really have any good low-brow jokes, so I thought I'd try to come up with a really good dick joke.  Here's what I came up with:

OTHER COMEDIANS WRITING DICK JOKES:

Hey, what's up with dicks!  Hahaha!

MY ATTEMPT AT A DICK JOKE:

Hey, what's up with the fact that 75% of all adult male penises are curved to the left, and nearly 100% of testicles are uneven?  And what's up with circumcision?  Circumcision dates back to ancient African tribes.  The practice was carried on by Jewish people, and popularized in the United States by Kellogg.  People think circumcision is better for cleanliness and reducing the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, but it's completely unnecessary in an age of regular self-cleaning and the widespread availability of condoms.  Male circumcision is more widely accepted than female genital mutilation, and while I acknowledge that the forcible removal of the clitoris is a more invasive procedure than the removal of foreskin, in principle, ANY unnecessary surgical procedure done on a child without consent is a barbaric tradition which needs to be abolished, and it's time we raise awareness on this issue, and put a stop to...  Fuck, I really suck at writing dick jokes.

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