Friday, August 29, 2014

How to Create a Movie Character

HOW TO CREATE A MOVIE CHARACTER:

STEP ONE:

Start with a handsome, single, white, heterosexual, male of Anglo-Saxon ancestry, about twenty-five years of age, approximately 5'10" and 130 lbs.  Short, brown or black hair, brown or hazel eyes, with absolutely no tattoos, piercings, scars, facial hair, eyeglasses, or any sort of physical or mental disabilities.  Make him a natural-born U.S. citizen, who speaks English with a non-southern generic American accent.  He is a native to whatever city or town in which the story is taking place.  He is wearing either a button-down shirt, slacks and dress shoes, all subtle colors, or else a solid-color t-shirt, jeans and sneakers.  He is employed by an unnamed company, full-time, working in a cubicle, nine to five, Monday through Friday, and makes a livable wage.  He has a purely logical mind with an IQ of approximately 110, has a bachelor's degree in nothing in particular, a valid driver's license, and no real prior life experiences or future plans.  He is a social drinker only, politically neutral, religiously agnostic, and doesn't have any particular music preferences.  He has no other personality traits or interests.

STEP TWO:

Go back and change the above description ONLY in ways that are absolutely necessary for the plot.  If this includes changing the sex of the character, but not the age, then reduce her default weight to 100 lbs.

STEP THREE (Optional):

Pick a name.  Any name will do, as no one will likely remember it.

STEP FOUR:

Ignore any discussions as to why women and minorities are so underrepresented in motion pictures.

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