Six Types of Men

The social script for masculinity is different from the social script for femininity in a very important way.  The masculine script is associated with dominance, while the feminine script is associated with submission.  This means that when a woman disregards the feminine script, it becomes a victory over the rules and expectations of society, and the ascension to a state of self-empowerment.  However, a man who has the strength to disregard the masculine script is nearly indistinguishable from a man who has tried and failed to follow said script.  Thus, men feel a significantly greater social obligation to follow said script without some sort of "reason" for the deviation, such as being gay or intrinsically gender-nonconforming.  For example, if we arbitrarily say that it is "masculine" to wear a suit, and "feminine" to wear a dress, women will be expected to "break the rules" and wear a suit, but a man wearing a dress will prompt an expectation of some seemingly logical explanation.  Because of this, cisgender-heterosexual men tend to fall into one of six general categories with regard to their relationship between their self-image and the latest version of the societal expectations on masculinity.  Bear in mind that most men will not fit entirely into a single category, but rather will tend to have one category or another being the dominant set of characteristics at any given time.

All images shown here are AI-generated.

THE CLASSIC RUGGED MAN:  Strong, intelligent, capable, and with a code of ethics to match.  This man can change a tire, file your taxes, and throw a long football pass with little effort.  He avoids violence, but if given no other choice, can win any fight.  He is always helping others, but takes no shit from anyone.  He takes care of his health.  He is great at giving advice.  He looks great in either a business suit or dressed as a lumberjack.  He has a strong work ethic, a thirst for knowledge, and a charming personality that makes everyone around him feel like a winner.  He sets the bar for positive masculinity.

THE AGERAGE JOE:  He may not be the strongest, the bravest or the smartest, but he's certainly not a slouch.  He's the guy who hits "just enough" checkboxes on the guy-stuff list, like watching sports and action movies, drinking beer, and doing a halfway-decent job of handling his own shit.  He knows his limitations and he accepts them.  He can be a little insensitive at times, but he means well.  He is always surrounded by lots of friends who are just like himself, and they can all be trusted to have each other's backs.

THE OVER-COMPENSATOR:  Constantly afraid of not measuring up to society's expectations on masculinity, this guy lives in a perpetual state of trying to prove something to himself and everyone else.  He must embody all masculine characteristics, including toxic ones, in order to impress those around him, even when in the presence of people who don't care.  He is aggressive, easily offended, short-tempered, and possibly violent.  He brags about himself and insults others.  He is homophobic, misogynistic, and generally loud and obnoxious.

THE SELF-EFFACING:  Knowing that he will never measure up to society's expectations, he makes it a point never to even try.  He is quick to make fun of himself, thus beating everyone else to it.  He deflects compliments.  If he asks a question or offers advice, he precedes it with a phrase such as "this is going to sound dumb, but..."  He is helpful and hard-working to a fault.  He has virtually no ambitions or goals.  If something is upsetting him, he keeps it to himself, or tries to cover it up with a joke.  His worst nightmare is being called out for arrogance.

5. THE DANDY:  Completely disregarding the conventional script for masculinity, he is unapologetically feminine.  He is sophisticated, educated, and polite.  He never compromises himself and is unphased by criticism.  He treats others with respect and kindness.  His sense of style is unique and his interests are eclectic.  He is always learning and trying to better himself.

6. THE MR. NICE-GUY:  In response to negative criticisms about masculinity, this man openly rejects the script for masculinity, often bragging about not being like other men.  He is extremely arrogant.  Although self-identifying as a feminist, he can become quickly hostile toward women who do not reward or praise him for his rhetorical ideology.  He frequently feigns kindness for selfish reasons.  He is disparaging toward all stereotypically masculine traits or hobbies.  He is relatively well-educated, but condescending toward those with less education.  He can form tentative friendships with like-minded men, but will quickly become competitive if he feels outperformed in virtue-signaling.  His every word and action is carefully measured for appearance's sake.