Thursday, March 14, 2013

Greatest Monsters of All Time

People have often debated which are the greatest movie monsters or villains of all time.  Rather than just put together some lame top ten list that's sure to piss everyone off because it's not the top ten list YOU would have made, I decided to make a definitive collection, arrange them by category, and let you decide for yourself which ones are your favorites.

To avoid having a mile-long list of monsters, I established two general rules:

Rule #1:  The monster must be well-known, thus demonstrating having penetrated the general public consciousness.  (Nothing from some one-time movie that only a few people remember.)
Rule #2:  The monster must be an individual, not a general category.  (For example, "zombies" is not a specific individual monster.)

I've broken them down into five basic categories.  Enjoy.

CLASSICAL MONSTERS:

* BOGEY MAN - Throughout the Middle Ages, there were legends of "bogey beasts," or mysterious monsters which lived in bogs and attempted to frighten away trespassers.  By the modern era, these beasts became blended into a single monster called "the Bogey Man," and has become part of what I call the "children's pantheon" along with Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.  The Bogey Man loves to frighten children, playing off their existing fears.  His appearance is varied, but is it often depicted with distorted skin, sharp teeth, glowing eyes, and a soft whispering voice.  He often hides in closets and under beds.  His weaknesses are bright lights, loud noises and security blankets.

* GRENDEL - A monster which terrorized the Hall of Rothgar before being killed by Beowulf.
Associates:  His mother.

* GRIM REAPER - Also known as Charon or simply "Death."  He originally ferried souls across the River Styx (or Acheron, depending on your source), but somewhere along the line, he took over the role of the incarnation of death from his brother, Thanatos.  He is a skeleton wearing a black hooded robe, and according the Book of Revelation, carries a scythe.  He does not consider himself evil, but simply doing his job.

* HYDRA - From Greek mythology, the Hydra is probably the most famous of multi-headed dragons.  It is the offspring of Typhon and Echidna, and it has the power to regenerate lost heads (and then some).  It was eventually killed by Heracles.

* JERSEY DEVIL - At about the late end of the "classic" monsters, the Jersey Devil is a folk legend from the New England area.  According to the legend, he was born sometime before the American Revolution to a woman who was cursed in some way, and immediately flew out on his own to terrorize people.  He has horns, wings and hooves.

* MEDUSA - Specifically from Greek mythology, Medusa was one of three immortal sisters known as the gorgons.  Medusa was a lover of Poseidon, but cursed by Athena with snakes growing from her head, and eyes which could turn any living thing into stone.  Despite her most famous story of being killed by Perseus, she has since reappeared in several modern stories.

* MINOTAUR - Another from Greek mythology, this huge man with the head and hooves of a bull carries an axe and kills any who enter the labyrinth beneath the island of Crete.  He was born the offspring of a magic bull and a Minoan princess.  He was killed by Thesius, but like so many monsters, has returned to appear in other stories.

* SATAN - The ultimate bad guy, Satan (also known as Lucifer, Beelzebub, Mephistopheles, the Devil, etc.) was once an angel, but betrayed God, becoming the ruler of Hell.  Many of his early attributes are based on the Canaanite story of Baal, but by the Middle Ages, the legend of Faust cemented into the modern culture, the image of a distinguished gentleman, who offers contracts to buy human souls in exchange for granting wishes.  These wishes usually backfire in some way.
Associates:  All known demons.

* SPHINX - A monster with the body of a lion, the face of a woman, and the wings of a falcon.  The Sphinx terrorized the people of Thebes, Egypt, before finally being defeated by Oedipus.  Before killing (and eating) its victims, the Sphinx would offer a sporting chance of survival in the form of asking riddles.


GOLDEN AGE OF HORROR 1920s-1950s:

* CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON - Often called the "last of the Universal monsters," the creature, also called "Gill-Man," is a fish-like humanoid which kills anyone who threatens his natural habitat.

* DRACULA - Based on the novel and stage play by Bram Stoker (and even more loosely based on Prince Vlad the Impailer of Transylvania), Count Dracula is the world's most powerful vampire (and in some versions, the first vampire).  In addition to all the other vampire powers, he can shapeshift into a wolf, a bat or a cloud of mist, is one of the few vampires capable of surviving in sunlight, and can dominate any creature of the night, including most werewolves and zombies.  Dracula was defeated in 19th-century England by Professor Abraham Van Helsing.
Associates:  Three wives.  Alucard (his son).  Maria Zeleska (his daughter).  Renfield (his insect-eating servant).

* FLY - Dr. Andre DeLambre, working on a way to teleport himself, accidentally merged his own body with the head of a fly.

* FRANKENSTEIN - Based on the novel by Mary Wollstonecraft Shelly, Dr. Victor Frankenstein is the quintessential mad scientist.  He creates monsters from sewn-together body parts and electricity.  His monsters tend to be violent and slow-witted.
Associates:  The Monster (his first creation, who has greenish skin and bolts in his neck).  Ygor (his conniving hunch-backed assistant).  The Bride (his second creation, who has upright streaked hair, and was created as a companion for the first Monster).

* GOLEM OF PRAGUE - A man made of living stone, the Golem was created by a Rabbi using the mystical power of the Kabbalah.  He reigns vengeance upon anyone who threatens the Jewish people.

* HEADLESS HORSEMAN - Based on an American folk legend, and popularized by Washington Irving, the Headless Horseman rides through the night around the town of Sleepy Hollow.  He is undead after having been beheaded, and often threatens his victims by throwing jack-o-lanterns at them.  His weakness is that he cannot cross over running water.  He most famously terrorized Ichabod Crane in the 18th century.

* INVISIBLE MAN - Based on the story by H.G. Wells, Dr. Jack Griffin experimented on himself to make himself invisible, with the side-effect of causing him to become sociopathic.

* JEKYLL / HYDE - Based on the story by Robert Lewis Stephenson, Dr. Henry Jekyll is a split personality.  After experimenting on himself, he takes on an evil and monstrous alter-ego known as Edward Hyde.  In some versions of the story, he drinks or injects the drug for each transformation, while in other versions, the transformations are spontaneous.

* MUMMY (IMHOTEP) - After attempting to resurrect an Egyptian queen, Imhotep (named after the famous Egyptian architect who designed the pyramids), was killed, mummified, and later brought back to life by his own spell read by a team of 20th-century archeologists.

* MUMMY (KHARIS) - An equally popular mummy, Kharis is kept alive by the magic of tana leaves, and used by an Egyptian cult to protect the treasures of Egypt.

* PHANTOM OF THE OPERA - Based on the novel by Gaston LaRue, the Phantom (also known as Erik, or the Opera Ghost) was a deformed and abused child who grew up in the secret tunnels beneath a Paris opera house.  He wears a white mask to hide his face.  He is the quintessential tortured artist, obsessed with creating musical masterpieces, and killing anyone who stand in the way of his art.
Associates:  The rat-catcher.

* WOLFMAN - Unlike other werewolves, Lawrence Talbot III can be brought back from the dead, even if killed by silver.  He is also the only known werewolf who cannot be forced to submit to the will of Dracula.


SILVER AGE OF HORROR 1970s-1990s:

* AUDREY II - An oversized talking plant that eats humans.

* CANDYMAN - An undead serial killer who can be summoned through mirrors.

* CHUCKY - Charles Lee Ray, after being killed, used a voodoo spell to transfer his soul into the body of a talking doll.
Associates:  Tiffany (his doll girlfriend).  Glen (his doll son).

* DAMIEN - The son of Satan.  He can manipulate people into murder or suicide.

* GHOSTFACE - Serial killer with a long white mask.  He is inspired by other horror movies.

* FREDDY KRUEGER - Once a serial killer of children, using a glove with metal claws, Freddy was killed and burned by the parents of the murdered children.  Now undead, Freddy has the power to kill people by integrating himself into their nightmares.

* LEATHERFACE - The most prominent member of a family of killers in Texas.  Leatherface carries a chainsaw and wears a mask made from the skin of his previous victims.

* LEPRECHAUN - A not-so-cute leprechaun who will kill anyone who stands between him and his pot of gold.

* MICHAEL MYERS - A natural-born serial killer who wears a white mask.  He is associated with the Cult of the Thorn.  He is often silent.

* PINHEAD - Not his actual name, but a common nickname.  He is the leader of the Cenobites, demons which inflict pain for pleasure.  He has white skin, a leather coat, and several nails in his head.

* JASON VORHEEZ - After drowning at Crystal Lake as a child, Jason became an undead immortal.  He kills everyone, but his favorite victims are sexually-active teenagers.  He wears a hockey mask and carries a machete.
Associates:  Pamela (his mother, who was beheaded).

* WISHMASTER - The quintessential evil genie, who grants wishes which inevitably backfire.  When not granting wishes, he is trapped inside a magic gem.


GIANT MONSTERS:

* BLOB - An extraterrestrial amorphous mass which grows by consuming everything in its path.

* CTHULHU - A gigantic winged creature with an octopus-like head.  He is a force of destruction summoned into this world by cults.

* GAMERA - A giant flying turtle, capable of travelling through space.  He fights off other monsters, and is very protective of children.

* GODZILLA - A preserved dinosaur who was resurrected and mutated by nuclear bomb testing somewhere off the coast of Japan.  He is much larger than an ordinary dinosaur, often crushing all things in his path.  He lives on Monster Island, fighting off other giant monsters.  His most powerful weapon is atomic breath.
Associates:  Menia (his son).  King Ghidorah (his arch-nemesis, a gold three-headed dragon).

* KING KONG - The "Eighth Wonder of the World," King Kong is a giant gorilla from Skull Island, who used to received human sacrifices from the tribesmen, but later travelled to New York City.  He was killed, but has inexplicably appeared in other movies since.

* KRAKEN - The word "kraken" originally applied to a giant squid popular in medieval folklore, and the sea monster which destroyed the city of Argos in Greek mythology was never given a name or a description.  However, to modern moviegoers, the two creatures are one and the same.  It is a giant multi-limbed creature which serves the will of Zeus.

* MOTHRA - A giant moth worshipped by a tribe on a South Pacific island.  They summon Mothra by singing.  Mothra can create incredible windstorms by flapping her wings, or shoot jets of web.


HUMAN KILLERS (Serial killers without supernatural powers or a cool costume):
(Note:  Because of the incredibly long list of real-life serial killers, I'm once again sticking with recurring movie characters.)

* NORMAN BATES - (SPOILER ALERT!)  The owner of the Bates Motel, Norman went insane after killing his mother, and has since become a multiple personality, with the other personality being a homicidal version of his late mother.

* HANIBAL LECTER - A deranged psychiatrist and cannibal.  He delights in taunting his adversaries.

* JACK THE RIPPER - Originally a nickname for an unidentified real-life serial killer from 18th-century London, Jack the Ripper has become a popular recurring character throughout science fiction and horror.  The specifics vary widely from one production to the next.

* SWEENY TODD - A homicidal barber who kills his customers.  Originally just a legendary figure who robbed his victims, but in later versions, an alias for Benjamin Barker, who sought revenge on his enemies, but got carried away killing everyone else.
Associates:  Mrs. Lovett (his accomplice, who disposed of the victims' bodies by baking them into pies).